The Circle of Life?

So I'm sitting in Constitutional Law recently, and when I should be learning about why Congress can use the Commerce Clause to tell a BBQ joint in Alabama in 1964 that even though they serve everyone, they have to allow blacks to sit at the tables, despite what it will do to their business, and well I can't help but think, I'm bored with being a human...

Humans have way to many problems, and they bitch about everything. They bitch if someone treats them bad, and they make the argument because it's about skin color, or gender, or sexual orientation. Have you ever thought you might just be a giant douche bag? Doubt it. I know plenty of people don't like me, is it because of my Italian or Irish blood? Is it because the things in life I enjoy are drinking, gambling, and smoking cigars? I doubt it, people generally dislike me because I'm an asshole. I know I'm an asshole, but I'm good at it, so I probably always will be one.

Anyway, back to why I'm writing this blog. Instead of learning about the Commerce Clause, I thought about what I would rather be, and I think I nailed it. I want to be a motherfucking lion. I want to be king of the pride. Where my only jobs involve eating what the women bring me, banging each of the women in my pride, and killing or exiling any other male lions trying to move in on me, and sleeping. That is a pretty good life.

I wouldn't have to hear other lions bitch about how life isn't fair. You don't hear lions say, "The only reason you exiled me is because my mane is darker than yours." Or, "I'm not going hunting tonight and bringing you dinner, because as a woman I have rights too." Of course the thing you would never hear is, "Not tonight, I don't feel good, I have a headache." As a lion who was king of the pride, you just have to tell that bitch to bend over and take it like a lioness (pictured).

Now let me ask you this: Doesn't being a lion sound awesome?