Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Black History Month

Where the white women at? That is the million dollar question tonight. The answer is they will be at the Jay Z concert. Does anyone find it odd that the only time Jay Z cames to town to do a concert is during Black History Month? I find it sad because every black stereotype will be in full effect tonight. Here are some examples.

1) Bluetooth in the ear while not talking on the phone.

2) Weed will be smoked all night

3) Jorts (if you don't know what jorts are see picture)

4) A new stereotype is sagging in skinny jeans

5) Fights will break out

6) none of the acts will start on time

Obviously I am leaving of alot but this is my first blog so I had to start somewhere. Stay tuned for more blogs.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

New Writing Talent.

So under threat of civil rights issues, I've brought on a "black writer." His name is Negro Willie, and over the years he has mastered several jobs. He is a great driver, he tastes my food before I eat, he bleaches carpet, he has sex with white girls, and he has broken the mold and learned to not steal (I think).

I've decided to have good ole Willie write (he will also write his own introduction soon) for several reasons. One I am really busy with writing legal mumbo-jumbo for school, two if I'm not doing school related things, I am probably either super hungover and/or drunk. Three I think he may be able to handle writing an occasional amusing blog.

My hopes are that through this process he gains some new skills. Like he could gain the skill of being a much better wing-man. He could learn to have sex with black girls. He could do something with the Internet that is not related to free porn.

Anyway, he works for the Ticket, and maybe this will make the guys on the radio (who aren't really that funny) see that Negro Willie is at least a little funnier than they are and he can get some air time. Then I can drop out of law school, and we can host a radio show called "The Captain and Willie" (working title). Until then enjoy his commentary on things related to cigars, sports, politics, and possibly crack?...

As another disclaimer, I do not fully endorse anything he writes, unless I happen to acknowledge it on here. He is writing as his own self, and is not a representation of Captain Awesome. He is after all a sidekick. But he is a cool sidekick like Tonto or R2D2, not a gay sidekick like Samwise Gamgee. If you remember the show Doug on Nickelodeon, then think of Captain Awesome as Doug, and Negro Willie as Skeeter Valentine.

Anyway until his first blog, stay awesome.