Dear Mark Mangino & ESPN (part 2), and Univ. of Kansas,

Dear Mark Mangino,

I fought for you buddy. It blows. My new goal is to get you hired as the Univ. of North Texas coaching job. They can't hold on to that shitfuck Dodge forever.

Hell Dickey should still be the coach. That school of which I am an alumni is run by idiots, so on second thought, you don't want to coach there. Of course Wade Phillips may be gone in a few weeks...

Keep on being a coach.

Sincerely,

Captain Awesome

Letter 2:

Dear ESPN,

Do you fuckfaces really have to keep up this shit? Your job is to talk sports. You got a good football coach fired. Now look what you're doing to Tiger Woods.

Tiger is a golfer. So ESPN, your job is to talk about what he is doing out on the links. It is not your job to talk about him banging some other slut. If I gave a shit who Tiger Woods was banging, I'd read the National Fucking Enquirer. When I want to see what's going on in the sports world, I watch ESPN.

But nooooo. You have fuckface anchors that don't know enough about sports, so they are now in the gossip scene. As of this minute they are talking about Hines Ward talking about how Big Ben (who has his own awesome sex stories) and how he should have played.

If Ben wants to be a pussy, fine. The NFL is full of them. I played in the same game on the two separate occasions of my concussions, one in football and one in baseball. You want to know why I did it? Cause I'm not a fucking shitbreath pussy that complains about a headache. I take some Advil and kick ass.

You shouldn't be talking about what Hines Ward said ESPN, you should be talking about how the NFL should be called the NPL. For those of you who have no idea what NPL stands for, it the National Pussy League. If I were getting paid millions of dollars to throw and hand off footballs, I wouldn't be a little bitch about a headache because some meanie on the other side hit me hard...

Anyway, ESPN, please go back to being a sports network.

Sincerely,

Captain Awesome

Letter 3:

Dear University of Kansas,

Why the fuck would you fire a coach that gave you a shot at having a decent football team (I'm aware it was a "resignation")?

Oh is it because you have no idea what a football coach does? Or is it that you fuckheads watch the fuckasses on ESPN?

You and the people that run North Texas athletics should get together and swap stories or something.

Sincerely,

Captain Awesome