Monday, November 30, 2009

No Shave November part 2

So for those of you are may have tried and failed, or tried and succeeded, or didn't try at all...

Well have no fear because Captain Awesome succeeded. I have gone 30 solid days without the touch of a razor. I kind of like it... (see picture)

This may lead to a continuation. Can there be a No Shave December? Of course there can. Will I do it? Well maybe for a little while. I don't know if I'm gonna stay at the Hard Rock in Vegas, or go out on NYE as Grizzly Adams, but I think I may go through law school finals without shaving.

Speaking of law school finals, they began today as I had a 24 hour, 2,500 word Civil Procedure final. I came in at 2,412, I see it as an almost perfect paper. It better be too, since it's worth 100% of my grade...

I also have completed my 200 beers at Flying Saucer and I will be immortalized in the "Ring of Honor" as I get my plate on the wall. I would like to thank Wells Fargo for supplying me with the student loans to pay for the beers, though a year of working helped out too. I would also like to thank Texas Wesleyan Law School for being six blocks from the Fort Worth Flying Saucer and for being a reason for me to drink. I must also thank Negro Willie for being a drinking buddy as he is also in his quest to finish 200. And I guess I should thank my family for supporting my love of beer habit, and Flying Saucer for being so awesome.

If you are in Fort Worth, Texas and happen to be downtown on December 18th, stop by and congratulate Captain Awesome and bask in the awesomeness that he is. Just don't forget to suit up!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Dear Mark Mangino & ESPN,

Here are two letters I am working on, enjoy:

Letter 1:

Dear Mark Mangino,

I am totally on your side. Here is why:

You are a college football coach. It is your job, to yell scream, bitch, curse, and insult your players. It is not your job to coddle some pussies and cunts. Those cockfucks are college athletes, and football players at that. They are getting a free fucking education to play football at an extremely high level. If they don't like being insulted and yelled at for playing like shit, or making stupid fucktards, then they should be at home in some shit town in Kansas or Nebraska, or Oklahoma, working at a fucking Sonic.

You are a hard working football coach. You could probably cut back on the sweets a little, but it's not your job to apologize to some pansy ass football players who can't take aggressive criticism.

In conclusion, keep on being an ass and never apologize. I hope you keep your job. I am now a Kansas football fan because you are coaching the right way. You don't coach like a little bitch. Just don't beat your wife like that Cable guy in Oakland. When Wade Phillips is fired from the Cowboys, I want to throw you name into the Dallas hat for coaching. Though Tony Romo is a little bitch, so you'll have to whip into shape.

Yours Truly,

Captain Awesome

Letter 2:

Dear ESPN,

Fucking leave Mangino alone for god-sakes. The guy is coaching his ass off for players that can't play for shit. He has every right to make sure they know.

Also, why the fuck is Chris Berman still working for ESPN if you are going to be little cunts to football coaches who are happen to say things that are rude to people. If you don't know what I am talking about watch this video.

Chris Berman is a horrible sports anchor that nobody likes. In fact 80% of the tools on ESPN don't belong there. They don't know sports. They get facts and names incorrect all the fucking time. You need sports fans doing that shit. On some fag that spent 4 years in college getting a shitty communication degree and decided sports would be "fun" even though he never played or watched any sporting events, and his father doesn't love him because he throws like a girl. Mike Greenberg and Tony Kornheiser, yes I am talking about you.

In conclusion, your programming blows. I only watch Sportscenter because you have a monopoly on the sports programming market. Maybe one day you and Disney and ABC will figure out how to hire the right people to talk sports on the TV and radio. So until then, go fuck yourselves and leave head coaches who yell, and cuss, and abuse alone. They have every right to do that.

Sincerely,

Captain Awesome