Scoregasm has Scored and Gasmed this Year.

You read that title correctly. I've often tried to keep my blog readers updated on the happenings of my fantasy football team, "Scoregasm." This year I elected to forgo that, as I thought it might be a jinx. Previously I had not finished higher than third, but 2011 was different. Scoregasm has won the 2011 Donkey Punches fantasy football league. Let me tell you how:

The Draft: It all started here, I usually get stuck with a shitty pick. This year, I got stuck with the ninth pick our of twelve teams. Not the worst spot, but not the best spot. I made the best of it, I took Michael Turner in the first round to open, and on my turnaround I made the best pick of the day and took Drew Brees. This pick is important as passing touchdowns are worth 6 points, not the usual 4 points in our league. I followed that up with the picks of Peyton Hillis (pictured above, and also a huge bust), and a few reaches at wide receiver that paid off. I reached and took in order for picks 4-6, Brandon Marshall, Marques Colston, and Steve Smith (Carolina). To round off my offense I took Tony Gonzalez to fill my TE spot (I was hoping Jimmy Graham would fall to me, but he was taken a few picks earlier).

I then took the New York Jets defense, and followed my picks to round out the bench with Mike Sims-Walker (dropped very early on), Willis McGahee (huge pick for a tenth rounder that put up 1000 rushing yards), Jay Cutler (who I dropped for a much better backup to be discussed later), Toby Gerhart (who I dropped and then picked up immediately after the first A.P. injury), I then took Adam Vinatieri to fill my kicker void, and then my final pick was Donald Brown.

It was a pretty solid draft, and I essentially won the season there thanks to the big years from Turner, Brees, Marshall, Colston, Smith, Gonzalez, and McGahee.

But my good moves didn't stop at the draft...

The Season: So the regular season is always full of waiver moves that help win championships. Some of mine were to keep them out of other team's possession, and then others were to fill bye week gaps, or injury holes. Here is a look at what some of those pick-ups looked like: Cam Newton, Darren Sproles, Mike Thomas, Devery Henderson, Jake Ballard, Eric Decker, and Kahlil Bell on offense, at kicker I went through Jason Hanson and finished with Mason Crosby at the kicker spot, and I also used the Tennessee Defense, and New York Giants Defense once each.

I was in position to win the top seed in our league, and had it not been for one Philip Rivers to Vincent Jackson touchdown in the regular season finale, I would have won top seed. I led the league in points, but took a few tough losses. All in all, I took the 3 seed into the playoffs...

The Playoffs: Week one of the playoffs, I faced off against Brian, a league newcomer who was carried to the playoffs by Aaron Rodgers, I tough matchup that came down to a Sunday night football game. I pulled off the win, and had to carry my success into playing the two seed. Week two of the playoffs I was matched up against M-Dub, who I'd beaten twice already in the regular season. It was a walk in the park thanks to Drew Brees. Tony Romo had started with a huge Saturday point fest when he had 250 yards and 4 touchdowns in the first half. Luckily he had a slow second half, and Drew Brees met his match with 350 of his own yards and 5 touchdowns. So I moved on to the finals.

The Finals: It was a nail-biter that came down to the Monday Night Saints-Falcons game. I had Brees, Gonzalez, and Colston going and Mike (who is now a three time finals failure) had Roddy White going. I was down by 42 points thanks to a great start from Kahlil Bell who I'd just picked up (and I'd benched Turner that week), and despite horrible starts by McGahee and S. Smith. I ended up winning by 18 points, and Drew Brees broke down Marino's record.

All in all a great fantasy season, that also happened to have the largest fantasy payout that our league has season in 6 seasons. We paid $50 per team this year, as opposed to $20. So I walked away with a title and $300. If you do the math, in the previous five seasons, I'd lost $80 (I won $20 back with a third place finish a few years ago), so that makes me up $220 after 6 years of play. Not to shabby.

Next year, Scoregasm will be back in full force looking to have a repeat performance and win the Donkey Punches Fantasy Football league. Please see the video.

A Legal Commentary on Stripping

So I read an article on Above the Law recently. You can read it by clicking the link. It's actually quite interesting and right up my alley. So I thought I would comment on it.

Here is the basic rundown: Attorneys for South American drug lords in Florida have been busted using strippers to make sure their clients keep them employed. They have been flying in dancers from South America to pose as legal assistants and secretaries and entertain the incarcerated kingpins with their non-legal assets.

There are several women who find this as sexist and wrong. They don't believe it should be allowed. I disagree.

Using sex is something that our country does on a daily basis. We use sex in ads to sell products ranging from deodorant, cars, cell phones, movies, condoms (obviously), and beer. We take clients to lunch at places like Hooters (I actually do go their for the wings) and Twin Peaks (food is only so-so). We place models on cars and boats at shows and state fairs. Sex sells. There are not many statements someone can make that is truer than that.

This is just another way to have sex sell. Yes it has the potential to border on prostitution if these clients are getting a little happy ending after the "dance." But there is no risk of sex slavery, these women are paid professional dancers, as Above the Law points out.

It used to be commonplace to take important business clients to a strip club to help seal a deal, and some companies still do that. Is buying a lap dance for a potential client any different then sending a stripper to a current client to keep him happy? Not really.

As a fan of the legal system and the strip club system, I believe that no harm comes from combining the two. I mean if P.E.T.A can use sex to advocate against wearing fur, why can't attorneys use sex to maintain happy clients. Because for anyone who has worked in the legal industry, they know how rare happy clients are. I would say the percentage of happy clients to a law practice is around 17%. So you have 83% of your clients that are unhappy. Why not offer a lap-dance or two to help ensure that you stay retained by your client (especially one who is in prison, but still paying you).

So I applaud those Floridian attorneys making use of the stripping industry. If I'm ever arrested in Florida, I'll know who to call...

Money, Basketball, and the Law

I wrote this article last week for the Stanley & Associates Newsletter, "Off the Record." I wanted to write something that would be relevant to anyone who reads it, and I wanted to explain what the NBA players would have to prove to win an antitrust case. The article is basically an explanation of antitrust in as simple of terms as I could make it. I hope you find it informative. You can read the original newsletter here if you'd like.

If you have any questions regarding antitrust, please feel free to email me at jlanzillo4@lanzillosportsgroup.com. Enjoy:

"This one is for all the sports fans out there. You may know that the NBA Players Union has recently elected to disband and file suit against the NBA. You may have also heard that the specific type of lawsuit filed by the players (in multiple jurisdictions) is an “Antitrust” lawsuit. But what does all of this actually mean for the league, the players, and your favorite NBA team?

An antitrust claim means essentially this: The parties being sued are accused of participating in an agreement that unreasonably restrained trade in the market. In this case, the parties being sued make up the NBA; which is a collection of the teams and owners.

The first element of the claim the plaintiffs (the NBA players) have to prove is the existence of a “market.” There are two types of markets involved in this case: output and input markets. Output markets have to do with things that generate revenue, such as the games, TV deals, and merchandise. Input markets have to do with the products themselves, which, in this case are the players and coaches.

The second part of an antitrust claim that must be proven is the anticompetitive effect that the defendant (NBA’s) actions have on the market. An example of this (taken from a Major League Baseball antitrust case) would be if all the owners got together and agreed that they would not pay any player (free agent) over a certain dollar figure. Proving the anticompetitive effect on the market can be difficult. In the case of the NBA, the players are claiming that the owners conspired to “boycott players” attempting to force them to take massive reductions in compensation.

The final piece of the antitrust suit puzzle for the NBA players is establishing that the teams who make up NBA have available to them less restrictive (less anticompetitive) alternatives.

The NBA will have the opportunity to defend these claims with procompetitive justifications. They will give an economic justification for each of the actions that the players claim to be anticompetitive. Some of these defenses will be very persuasive.

It is worth remembering that the NBA has lost antitrust suits in the past. Back in the mid 80’s, when the San Diego Clippers’s moved to Los Angeles, a court upheld a jury’s finding that requiring approval of every NBA team regarding the move of another team was an unreasonable restraint on trade.

The bottom line is that while antitrust claims are very hard to prove, the cases will often settle out of court because the stakes are very high for defendants. In this case, if the NBA looses, owners will feel the pain as damages awarded in antitrust suits are automatically tripled.

Keep an eye on our firm’s twitter feed for more updates on the NBA antitrust case."

ABA Regional Negotiation Champion

Well, law schools don't have athletics. Well, kind of, I did play on a law school softball team that finished second in a tournament over the summer (I played a dynamite SS that day in 106 degree heat...but that's another story). For competition purposes, law schools have Mock Trial, Moot Court, and Dispute Resolution (Negotiation, Arbitration, and Mediation) teams.

They are teams that promote oral advocacy. Mock trial is a simulation of a trial. Moot Court is a simulation of an appeals hearing, and Dispute Resolution teams deal with before and after court issues.

Being a future super agent, being part of a Negotiation competition team just calls to me. I won a competition as a 1L that allowed me to be part of the travel team. Fall of my 2L year I finished second in intramurals (lost by 1 point). Spring of my 2L year, I traveled to Liberty Law School in Virginia to compete. That didn't go very well. Essentially, me and my teammate had the highest score through round 1, but an "ethical" violation (creating a self serving fact) cost us round 2, and advancing.

Well this past weekend, I got another shot at competing. Me and a new teammate (Danielle Huddleston) represented Texas Wesleyan School of Law in the Region 8 ABA Negotiation Competition. Region 8 consists of Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Arkansas, and Louisiana. Texas Wesleyan sent two teams. One advanced to the finals, the other did not. Obviously, if you read the title of this blog post, you know who won. My teammate and I did (You can see the picture, on my right is my teammate Danielle Huddleston, and on my left in the picture is our coach Chris Watts (Wesleyan Grad from '00, and me and my awesome beard are in the middle).

Is this a big deal? Of course. We now get to go to nationals in New Orleans in February for a chance to win back-to-back National Negotiation Titles for the school. Last year, Texas Wesleyan finished third in regionals, and were lucky to even get an invite to nationals. This year, we won an automatic invite.

What makes this an even bigger deal is that, little, ole tier-4 Texas Wesleyan dominated several major schools in our region...Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas-Little Rock, LSU, Tulsa, Baylor, SMU, and Texas Tech to name a few... All of these law schools have much better "rankings" nationwide, yet Texas Wesleyan is the defending national champion, and we now have a shot at winning two in a row. Pretty impressive for a little school in Fort Worth.

Either way, this is just another step in becoming a super agent!

What Happened to Halloween?

So this year for Halloween, I actually live in a big neighborhood in Richardson with lots of kids. I know there are lots of kids because I see them every morning on their way to school, and after school they are all out playing when I'm running. I was kind of excited to do the whole give out candy for Halloween thing...But alas, that has not happened.

As of now, Holly and I's first trick-or-treater showed up around 5:45pm. We had our 6th trick-or-treater around 8pm, and well, haven't had one since. A quick check outside, and there are none to be seen on the street. To make things worse, half of the kids who were trick or treat in were wearing no costume. A couple of kids thought they were "gangsters" rocking a sweatshirt. It's disappointing really.

Should I blame kids these days for the lack of Halloween enthusiasm? I don't think so. It all comes down to shitty parenting. Parents worry about way too much shit these days. They don't let their kids do anything. We live in a generation where everyone gets a trophy, no one gets picked last (hell no one gets picked at all), and kids apparently don't get to go out on Halloween.

This new generation of parents blows. I think the current youthful generation should rise up out of their homes in a costume of their choosing and hit the house circuit to get some tasty candy.

Anyway, this current generation of parents are in fact NOT awesome. I mean I even dressed my dock up for this occasion! Zoey is ready for Halloween.

Hockey Fights Cancer

So I decided to take this break of action in the World Series (thanks to a spiteful mother nature), to talk about the NHL's version of Stand up 2 Cancer. I was able to take part in the MLB SU2C promotion this past Sunday during game 4 of the World Series in Arlington. It was a pretty cool moment, and a really great cause. The NHL is also involved in something similar, and I was able to take part in that as well not too long ago while attending a Dallas Stars and St. Louis Blues hockey game.

The NHL has a version known as "Hockey Fights Cancer." The Dallas Stars held an auction where several players signed sticks during a meet and greet for the winning bidder. I decided to do my part and got in on the bidding. However I elected to bid on Ralph and Razor's ties and an opportunity to meet the award winning broadcast team of Stars TV and radio fame (see picture). It was a great opportunity, and they even put Holly and I on the post game show.

I just wanted to write this blog to give anyone interested in donating to Hockey Fights Cancer, or Stand Up 2 Cancer the opportunity.

Let's hope the rain doesn't postpone the Rangers winning game 6 again tomorrow!

What's Right with Baseball in the Fall?

Everything is right with baseball in the fall. Playing baseball into the fall can only be good thing. And for the second time in their history, the Texas Rangers are playing some extremely good fall ball. Last night, when the Cardinals completed their NLCS victory, it set the stage for the 2011 Fall Classic.

The Rangers are now just four wins away from their first title. A World Series victory would complete the circle of every major sports team in Dallas/Fort Worth winning a title. The Cowboys have won multiple Super Bowls, the Stars won the 1998-99 Cup of Lord Stanley (and they're off to a hot start to this season), and the Mavericks won this past year. It is probably why Dallas/Fort Worth has been named sports city of the year.

Anyway, all I know is that Wednesday night, this lifelong Ranger fan will care of nothing else except seeing the Rangers finally complete a championship run. It's been a great two years, but this is their time to win. There are definitely a lot of things wrong with baseball in the summer, but there is nothing wrong with baseball in the fall...Wait apart from some of the worst baseball broadcasting of the year, with examples being the horrendous Joe Buck, the annoying Tim McCarver, and the stupid and annoying Buck Martinez. Anyway, that's not the point of this blog.

I want to congratulate the Cardinals on making it this far, but your "magical" run over the last month and a half will fall short to a few "Cruz Missiles" from NC17 and the "Year of the Napoli" will make you wish you'd let Atlanta make the postseason instead of you.

So I hope everyone has an awesome time celebrating this season for Dallas, Fort Worth, Arlington, and the Rangers. Oh yeah, feel free to follow me on Twitter: @JLanzillo4.

What's Wrong with Baseball in the Summer? Part 5

Well today is the finale of my summer baseball series. And this subject really gets me amped up. It actually is an issue no matter what team is playing, or what sport is being played.

I hate that fan who wears a jersey or hat or shirt from another team not playing in the game. You go to a Texas Rangers and they are playing the Minnesota Twins. Normal enough you're gonna see plenty of Texas gear, and some Twins gear, because let's be honest Texas is a transplant state (people move here from places like New Jersey, New York, Minnesota, Ohio, etc. all the time, I mean come on, we have plenty of jobs and no state income tax...). But while you're at that Rangers v. Twins match-up you see some douche bag fan rocking a Derek Jeter t-shirt jersey.

I understand if you're a Yankees fan. I understand if you're a Yankees fan in D/FW watching a game at the ballpark. I understand if you're a Yankees fan at the Rangers game rocking Yankee gear when the Bronx Bombers are in Arlington playing a game. What I don't understand is why you're wearing an ugly navy New York jersey at a game featuring no teams from the northeast at all. I mean I would even not mind a Yankees fan rocking his gear if the Red Sox were in town...

I hate it. You're not cool because you own a Jeter shirt. You look like a total douche. But there is of course one thing worse than that: when a fan is rocking a team from a different sport and area then the teams currently playing. Imagine yourself at the same previously mentioned game featuring the Rangers and Twins. You're just enjoying a well pitched game by C.J. Wilson, and bam, in walks a fan rocking a Lakers jersey. Some loser just rocked a purple and gold tank top jersey to a baseball game that (1) had no basketball teams playing in it, (2) featured no teams from California, and (3) was likely being played when no basketball was actually going on.

Absolutely ridiculous. So the next time you're at a sporting event, either wear team gear that correlates with the sport and the game being played, or just wear a non-sports related article of clothing. Don't be that douche, it is the opposite of being awesome.

(I apologize for the inconvenience of having no picture to show you what I mean. I couldn't find anything via Google, and I continuously forgot to snap a picture of it at Rangers games this summer. If I happen to see it at any of the remaining games, I promise to snap a shot. So to make up for it for now, here is a snap shot of me in Rangers garb from last years World Series game 3 against San Fransisco with ESPN's Tim Kurkjian. I'm also carrying a drum, just like my grandfather Zonk does.)

Who Could Forget? 10 Years After.

My parents still remember where they were when Kennedy was shot. Our generation had our own date to remember, 9/11/01. I still remember where I was.

Dallas Christian High School, Junior English class. We were pulled out of class early and taken to our auditorium (where we had chapel daily) and the entire high school was told at the same time. I remember many people were in disbelief, and there was one girl whose dad was in New York at the time for work, and she left to go call home.

As we were young, a lot of the talk was going to war. We weren't really thinking about the people, just revenge, and the day wasn't even over yet.

When we went back to class, we got the news put up, and saw the videos. That's when it really began to set in. Seeing video of the second plane hitting the building and the people all around, it was intense. I remember the bombing in Oklahoma City, it was very similar, but it never really sank in the way 9/11 did. I remember a few years later seeing ground zero. I had been in New York in August a few weeks before the attacks, and this had been my first time back. My brother snapped this shot of the miracle cross.

Today is the 10 year anniversary. I still remember. I won't be forgetting any time soon. We are a proud country, always have been, and always will be. It took almost ten years, but we finally got the man responsible earlier this year. To those family members of men and women who lost their lives that day, my thoughts are with all of you today. We will always honor their loss in this great American tragedy.

What's Wrong with Baseball in the Summer? Part 4

This one is easy. There isn't even a whole lot to write. It's the umpires.

Officiating is really pretty horrible in all sports, the NHL may have the best, but that's not saying much. People will often say that, well they're human, they make mistakes. I get that, the occasional missed ball or strike is understandable. But these people ARE in fact getting paid. So how is it that when you're only job is to watch a play, you still blow a call?

Take for example Jim Joyce's blown call (pictured right) last summer that led to a "failed" perfect game. A foot is a lot, even for a play run at full speed. And that is how bad this call was blown. It could even be argued that shitty umpiring cost the Atlanta Braves a win in the playoffs last year, I mean how does an umpire blow this call on the Buster Posey steal (pictured below)? I mean he was clearly out at every angle. What is really crazy is that not a single Brave (including Manager Bobby Cox and infielder Brooks Conrad) went out to argue this safe call...
I guess I had a little bit more to write then I first thought. But the next time you see a blown call in baseball (especially in the playoffs) or in any sport, just remember this, those guys make a lot more money than you probably do, and you are probably better at your job then they are at theirs.

Anyway, look for Part 5 soon, hopefully before the baseball playoffs begin. Until then stay awesome, and enjoy opening weekend to the NFL this week (thank the gods for instant replay...)